Saturday, May 31, 2008

Stevie Wonder - Saturn

"Packing my bags-going away
To a place where the air is clean
On saturn
There's no sense to sit and watch the people die
We don't fight our wars the way you do
We put back all the things we use
On Saturn
There's no sense to keep on doing such crimes

There's no principles in what you say
No direction in the things you do
For your world is soon to come to a close
Through the ages all great men have taught
Truth and happiness just can't be bought-or sold
Tell me why are you people so cold

I'm......
Going back to Saturn where the rings all glow
Rainbow, moonbeams and orange snow
On Saturn
People live to be two hundred and five
Going back to saturn where the people smile
Don't need cars cause we've learn to fly
On Saturn
Just to live to us is our natural high

We have come here many times before
To find your strategy to peace is war
Killing helpless men, women and children
That don't even know what they are dying for
We can't trust you when you take a stand
With a cold expression on your face
Saying give us what we want or we'll destroy

I'm......
Going back to Saturn where the rings all glow
Rainbow, moonbeams and orange snow
On Saturn
People live to be two hundred and five
Going back to saturn where the people smile
Don't need cars cause we've learn to fly
On Saturn
Just to live to us is our natural high"





I've been listening to Stevie Wonder's Songs In The Key Of Life tonight. Its nice seeing him writing a song about the depravity of our society with a very nice space-ish tune. The songs touched on all the usual negative topics like war and politics. But i noticed something:

"We don't fight our wars the way you do
We put back all the things we use
On Saturn
There's no sense to keep on doing such crimes"
Not putting back all the things we use is a crime?
: \



Well i guess he has a point if he is talking about human consumption of fossil fuel, or how we are making sharks go the way of the dodo bird.



Anyway, click on the video and listen.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Why you would want me to keep blogging


Its true. >: [

My mother's view of me has probably changed

I came home today with my mother giving me a weird look.

It was slightly different from the usual look she give whenever i say "I bought roast chicken!" upon reaching home (the woman hates me giving her dinner surprises, messes up her dinner plans, she says).

I bought durian puffs instead, for tonight. But the woman doesn't have supernatural sniffing powers. She couldn't have had told that i bought them. She knew when i was eating it in front of her though.

Then i went into my room and discovered my pack of free esquire condom was removed from its letter packaging and laid in front of my computer desktop.

: | I wonder what shes thinking about that

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Oh and i forgot to add!

I selected NUS Chemistry. I'm still waiting for my appeal to go through though. This is inconsequential, because if my appeal doesn't go through, i'll just apply for NTU's Mechanical Engineering again. Too bad NUS is stingy when it comes to reducing study time for polytechnic students. Its location is so much more appeasing compared to NTU's too.

Lifes difficult dilemmas : <

Why you should get me a bike


: D~


I'd probably not be able to afford that. Realistically, i'd be able to buy an Avalanche 3.0, but then it'd probably burn up half of this month's salary.

But theres something wrong about the Avalanche 3.0, it doesn't come in red. Its common knowledge that red ones go faster, therefore i cannot pick any of the 2008 Avalanche 3.0 models.

Life's tough dilemmas :(

Monday, May 26, 2008

mani ( o '-' ) b says (8:21 PM):
Tell me something thought provoking so i can write a blog entry about it
graduation: TML! says (8:22 PM):
u are a horny guy
mani ( o '-' ) b says (8:22 PM):
Thats not true, but i can't prove it
graduation: TML! says (8:22 PM):
u can
graduation: TML! says (8:22 PM):
stay chaste your whole life
graduation: TML! says (8:22 PM):
have u watched 40 year old virgin?
mani ( o '-' ) b says (8:23 PM):
I'll do it

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Today is a good day

Everything went smoothly at work.

This is what i handle, by the way.
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I bought two DVDs.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I came home without finding my aunt on my bed. She has left.

I had dinner at some place i wanted to eat for a long time.

I backed out at the thought of donating blood though. : D

Tomorrow should be even better, because my family is going shopping : D

Thursday, May 22, 2008

my aunt!

I came home from work today to find my aunt missing,

so i asked my mom, "姨妈在哪里?"

"Oh,在你床上睡觉,hahahahhaha"

"SMRJRPJ~!?"

"Hahahhahahaha"

My immediate thought was how inconvenient it would be for me to take off my jeans (i normally just strip in my own room), and how shes going to dirty my bed (my bed is sacred to me).

I wanted to rage. She had her own bed.

I didn't.

Heres why:

When i was young, my mom was working, therefore she asked my aunt to take care of me when i was a baby. There was a family joke for a while when i was under twelve years old. I was called "ahlulu" because my ability to down milk as a baby. It was said that the normal nipple tip of a milk bottle cap was not big enough to sate my thirst, my aunt actually cut a bigger hole for me.

So.... ahlulu was my nickname. I didn't like the nickname, therefore i didn't like her >: [

So being the arrogant asshat that i was, i called her a "chicken byebye"

I thought I was a genius, they wouldn't know my hidden insult, turns out they(i said that in front of her family) weren't dumb, i was no genius either.

She didn't reprimand me, but i recalled that she appeared saddened by it.

I didn't feel great about myself too. Asshats have genuine human feelings too, okay.

Over the years, she seemed to have forgotten about it, i saw her again, at a cousin's wedding. Some uncle was passing out cheques from the sale of my late grandmother's properties, when my uncle passed this particular aunt her share, she cried and rejected it, i don't know why, but i had the smarts to not ask out loud there and then.

Later on, i found out that she loaned money from the uncle to pay for the education of her three grown children. She worked in Singapore as a nanny to support her children, even then it was not enough. I was also told her husband does not work much back in her town.

I had a new found respect for the woman.

I didn't yell at her, i walked into my room silently, placed my belongings down on the table beside my bed.

And i woke her up, what a dumb ass.

"豪,你做完工了啊?"

"uh, 你继续睡lo"

"躺躺而已"

I turn on my computer and asked if she wanted some music, she declined and i walked out with my pants for change.



She probably treats me like one of her sons.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Not Metta

After completing that post below, my aunt who is visiting, walked into my room without asking, plonked her luggage onto my bedroom floor and said,

"我睡哪里啊,毫?"

"huh, 你不可以睡在这里!".

I then directed her to my sister's room.


I fail at being metta.

Metta

I'm going metta from now on:

Mettā (Pāli) or maitrī (Sanskrit) has been translated as "loving-kindness,"[1][2] "friendliness,"[3][4][5] "benevolence,"[4][2] "amity,"[3] "friendship,"[4] "good will,"[4] "kindness,"[6] "love,"[3] "sympathy,"[3] and "active interest in others."[3] It is one of the ten pāramitās of the Theravāda school of Buddhism, and the first of the four Brahmavihāras. The mettā bhāvanā ("cultivation of mettā") is a popular form of meditation in Buddhism.

The object of mettā meditation is loving kindness (love without attachment). Traditionally, the practice begins with the meditator cultivating loving kindness towards themselves,[7] then their loved ones, friends, teachers, strangers, enemies, and finally towards all sentient beings.

Buddhists believe that those who cultivate mettā will be at ease because they see no need to harbour ill will or hostility. Buddhist teachers may even recommend meditation on mettā as an antidote to insomnia and nightmares. It is generally felt that those around a mettā-ful person will feel more comfortable and happy too. Radiating mettā is thought to contribute to a world of love, peace and happiness.

Mettā meditation is considered a good way to calm down a distraught mind by people who consider it to be an antidote to anger. According to them, someone who has cultivated mettā will not be easily angered and can quickly subdue anger that arises, being more caring, more loving, and more likely to love unconditionally

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I love stories

'mazz, could you come help me in here?'

mazzilliu groaned and shouted back: 'What?!' No response. She rolled her eyes; she would need to get up and find out what her father wanted. She quickly typed 'BRB, i love u' into the chat client and minimised it before dejectedly rising from her desk and making for her bedroom door.

Didn't her father know how busy she was? she thought frustratedly to herself. She had been in the middle of a very private conversation with her boyfriend Stampert, and she smiled a little thinking of how very turned on she had made him by describing in length what she was going to do to him the next time she had the chance. She scowled, remembering that her annoying father had gotten in between her and her satisfaction, once again. She slipped on her pink bunny bathrobe before unlocking and opening the door.

'What?!' she shouted, leaning out of her bedroom doorframe. She did nothing to mask her annoyance or frustration in the tone of her voice, and made certain she was loud enough for her father to hear.

'mazzy, could you give me a hand in the basement?' was the reply.
'Why don't you get someone else? I'm busy!' she screamed back.
'No one else is home, could you please come down here and help me?'

Defeated, she scowled as she stomped her way to the basement door. It was open. 'Sweetie, could you close the door? I don't want your family to know what's happening in here,' her father's voice said from somewhere nearby. She rolled her eyes and obeyed. 'and lock it too?' he added after hearing the door close.

'Are you working on some sort of secret?' she said, perking up. 'A... Christmas present you don't want them to know about?' she said coyly as she playfully glided down the stairs to the basement. She had barely stepped off the last step when everything turned black.

She woke up a fraction of a second later on the ground, her head pounding and a deafening ringing in her ears. She grimaced, too shocked to start crying. Fresh, stabbing pains came as she clenched her jaw - it was broken. She brought her hands to her face, protecting herself instinctively, just in time to receive a hard kick to her stomach.

It knocked the wind out of the girl, and she looked up at the towering, menacing figure of her father looming over her, casting his shadow over her in the gloomily-lit basement. She gawked at him lamely with bulging eyes, unable to muster enough breath to speak. 'You dirty slut!' true enjoyment roared, rolling her over with a nudge of his boot. 'Whore!' he cursed, spitting on her.

A terrible realisation dawned on the girl - the dread and guilt she felt choked her. She began to sob, holding her broken jaw to her face with both hands. As she sobbed, she choked on her own blood and spit, unable to swallow properly. true enjoyment bent down and grabbed mazzilliu by her pink bathrobe, now covered in grey dust on one side and flecked with blood. He dragged the convulsing girl a few feet away from the stairwell, into the open. He knelt next to her, pulling her close by her bathrobe. 'You're a filthy harlot!' he screamed in her face, bits of spittle flying from his mouth onto his daughter.

‘A filthy harlot!’ he repeated, punctuating his hateful remark with a vicious punch which fractured mazzilliu’s jaw further. She jerked in his grasp and went limp as the pain overcame her.

She awoke to a rhythmic nudging, untold minutes later, with no recollection at all of what had just happened. Her senses came to her slowly, groping through the fog as they ponderously gathered about her. She was draped over the workbench, and her jaw hurt fiercely. She thoughtfully tried to bring a hand to her face to inspect her wounds and lift herself off the workbench with the other arm, to look behind her and find the source of this curious nudging. A heavy weight pinned her down, hard, frustrating her attempt. The ringing in her ears began to fade away, and she began to hear a man’s voice grunting in time with the nudging.

‘You dirty slut,’ the voice said amusedly, ‘you were wet when you came down here!’ it whispered hoarsely, intimately, from close behind her ear. 'Thinking about Stampert again, you filthy whore?' She smelled the beer on the voice’s breath. The nudging became more urgent, more forceful, and suddenly, mazzilliu felt her father twitch inside her, shooting thick ropes of his seed deep into her. At this moment, the memories flooded back to her, and she knew what was happening, and what had happened.

She opened her mouth to cry, and a thick stream of blood, saliva and teeth poured out. She began to cry, convulsing and sobbing, because her father had abused her, had just raped her, just like when she was young. She cried because she was helpless, frustrated that she had believed his smiles, believed that terrible chapter was behind them, most of all that she had forgiven him. Her sobbing was cut short by a swift smack to the back of her head which jammed her jaw into the workbench, dazing her. true enjoyment grabbed the beer bottle next to his daughter and jammed it in her, fumbling with his fingers to pry her open, violating her with its full length.

‘You don’t think I know what you’ve been up to, mazz?’ true enjoyment said, his voice dripping with the power he felt. ‘That you and your little boyfriend Stampert have been sneaking off at late hours?’ he continued. mazzilliu was thrown off the workbench like a piece of meat, onto the hard poured-concrete floor. Still dazed, she could not understand let alone resist what was happening. ‘You think you’re going to tell him what a horrible man your father is? You think he’s going to save you?’ he said, the anger in his voice rising. He rolled her over. ‘Well you’re wrong!’ he shouted, laughing a bit. He knelt down beside her, looking away from the mess of his daughter, bleeding out of its nose and mouth. ‘I’m going to fix it so no man will ever love you again. You belong to me,’ he whispered to her, fully confident. His tone promised what she knew the future held for her, and what would happen if she resisted.

‘You belong to me!’ true enjoyment roared as he stood up. He stamped hard on her stomach, shattering the glass bottle inside mazzilliu. Her daze broke there suddenly, and she screamed for the first time. He stomped on her again, laughing, ‘Let’s see Stampert love you now!’ as his daughter doubled over, clawing at the terrible fire inside her. Blood and bits of glass drooled out of her as he knelt down next to her again, and she stared at him with fearful, tear-filled eyes, drinking in every detail of the horrible moment. The last thing she heard before she was overcome by the pain was her father's terrible whisper: 'I'm going to fuck you 'till you love me.'

RIDE THE SNAKE

omgomg

poast!

mani is weird

its true.