How ar?

How do you make 2 different beams of protons go in opposite direction in an LHC? Tell me please !

HEYPI DE LEI

woot!

Busy week

So at the beginning of the week when we started processing all the backlog, we had a record number of applications. We had to clock lots of hours of OT, but it wasn't that bad, we cleared it in 3 days.

I noticed that many of the applications are from foreigners applying for utilites at district 9/10/11, and some of them are still in their 20s. Makes me jealous.


I also noticed an application filled in by a Chinese, you know how you're supposed to fill in the 6 digit postal code after the "S" at the end of the sentence. This lady was a genius. She filled in "ingapor". She made me laughed so hard, i think i hyperventilated.


Also last night i was at Central, oh boy i didn't know black pig's meat was so awesome

When i was in Secondary school

They made us take a personality test. If i recall correctly, it was the Myers-Briggs type indicator test.

After they processed the test results, et al. We were given our personalities and recommended jobs. The top job recommended to me was "clown".





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Life and How to Survive It

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life expectancy.







Shamelessly copy pasted from http://mrwangsaysso.blogspot.com/

Singaporeans are stupid.

Lady: "Oh hay i'm moving into my new apartment tomorrow, i'll sign up for utilities today ^_^"


Me: "Sorry mam, the tomorrow's appointment slots for utilities turn on are all taken"


Lady: "I don't care, i signed up yesterday, i want a slot, i'm moving in tomorrow."


Me (In my head): !@$#&!*(@&@%

Me (Out loud): "I'll try my best."






















idiots.



Edit: I also got a new nickname

Awkward picture found

Yes, that is sun yan zi~ Picture taken by someone from EDMW

I really like my workplace

Today, someone had severe abdominal pains. To the extent that, someone, couldn't stand up straight.

Being the genius that, i am. I called for an ambulance (well to be fair my supervisor asked me to call for one too). But i did it with my cellphone. Now i'm praying that i wouldn't get a $50 charge because i called in a non-emergency call.

No, shes not having her period. I don't know whats wrong with her. I'm half hoping its something serious so i wouldn't have to pay :3. I'm awesome like that.

I wonder if i can claim it with the company if they really charge me for it.

Hours after the incident, the female colleagues are making jokes about menstrual pains/menstruation again.

This place rocks.

I like my workplace

Today, i sat outside, surrounded by female colleagues, typing along, when i caught wind of the word "pads".

They were discussing brands/sizes/heavy loads. Then the discussion descended into jokes about wearing adult diapers instead of pads and how funny it would be to wear them under a skirt.

I like my work.



Also i got another new nickname today. I can't decide if "Chicken" or "jiejie" is better.

Today! IMM!

I went to IMM today.


I bought this:

$2 only~


Resulting in this:

So cool hor, cannot see my flaws also :D

Also you can probably tell its my first time using a mask. I think you're supposed to peel this thing off in one piece. I rubbed it off. : I

Today

Today i had a haircut.
I'm pretty pleased with my new short haircut.

I was suppose to meet Puay Yong at five.
She came at five and a half.
Puay Yong says not nice.
Puay Yong is blind.

As I age, the shorter i want my hair to be.

I wonder why i like long hair so much in my secondary days so much.

v0v

Argh

Dear diary,

I woke up 45 minutes ago.

I had my shower 40 minutes ago.

I had my breakfast 25 minutes ago.

It started raining 20 minutes ago.

I felt like going back to bed 15 minutes ago.

Stupid work.

See you 12 hours later.

Tonights dinner with some other dish to wash it down

So today's evening started as like every other evening with me asking "今晚去哪里啊？" after tea time at 3pm.

Nothing interesting came up from the Sunday Times, so me and my sister went off to hungrygowhere.com.

I found something interesting:

http://www.hungrygowhere.com/singapore/admiral_bar_grill/

But this isn't something my parents would fancy, so having no ideas at around 6pm, i turned to other people.

Leaving the house without any ideas, except for the same old haunts, my dad had a sudden brilliant spark flash across his brain.

"Defu lane 的那个喽,要不要?"

I almost forgot about Seafood Paradise, i jumped at that idea.

Reaching Seafood Paradise at 6:45pm after driving round Sengkang/Buangkok for a while looking for Kovan (-___-)

It was packed. We were told we might have to wait for 45mins.



The sky was looking ominous at this time.

About 20 minutes later, we got a table.



Location couldn't be worse, it was outside the area covered by the retractable roofing.

When the waitress came to take our orders, the four of us complained, very rare for us all to voice out together. I guess we love our food.

So after some reasoning, we got a new place~



Not ideal though, but better.

We ordered the famous creamy butter crab, then just add another fish + tofu to finish the combo.


This thing is orgasmic with the fried man tou. Its sweet/slightly spicy and not disgustingly buttery too.

Awesome :D











Also anyone want to go to Admiral Bar & Grill ?

Interview today!

http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest%2BNews/Singapore/STIStory_253809.html

Read that article.

I had an interview there in the afternoon, i thought my interview was going to be postponed for sure : D


Anyway i got the job :woop:

What I Am Thinking About Right Now

I'm bored.

Its been 4 days since nothing came exciting came up from my agent.

I called her this morning. She said nothing.

Another agent called me at 7:30pm today. Maybe i should take her up on the call center job.

I don't know if i should take it up.

Or should i wait for banks offers again.

Hmm. Dilemmas dilemmas.

I'm bored.

: [

mani says (7:48 PM):
why u come back ar
mani says (7:49 PM):
how is ur business
It's easy to fall in love. The hard part is finding someone to catch you ~Bertrand Russell~ says (7:50 PM):
i divorcing
It's easy to fall in love. The hard part is finding someone to catch you ~Bertrand Russell~ says (7:50 PM):
tat's why im bck
It's easy to fall in love. The hard part is finding someone to catch you ~Bertrand Russell~ says (7:50 PM):
gonna study
mani says (7:50 PM):
huh u were married meh
It's easy to fall in love. The hard part is finding someone to catch you ~Bertrand Russell~ says (7:50 PM):
-.-
It's easy to fall in love. The hard part is finding someone to catch you ~Bertrand Russell~ says (7:50 PM):
duh
mani says (7:50 PM):
married to who
mani says (7:50 PM):
who made u pregnant
It's easy to fall in love. The hard part is finding someone to catch you ~Bertrand Russell~ says (7:50 PM):
someone lah
It's easy to fall in love. The hard part is finding someone to catch you ~Bertrand Russell~ says (7:50 PM):
u dunoe de
mani says (7:50 PM):
loooooool so kyrre wasn't joking

Goondu advertiser

Click for big!


Your before and after picture looks the same, whats the difference ?

What Happened to All the Nice Guys

"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

Nice article. Shamelessly stolen from craigslist.

Lie bot, what is the saddest thing?

I laughed